9 Things Nobody Tells you about Motherhood 

  So it’s been another rough night with my little one. Shes two years old and like a midget evil dictator with a speech impediment. I found myself thinking; Who knew parenthood would be like this? If I knew would I still have her? Of course I would but I wish I had been prepared.The parenting books and forums rarely focus on the negatives of parenthood. Here is my list of things I wish I knew.

1. Disgusting things will happen to your body 

When I got pregnant, I was 19 years old and I was expecting a few stretchmarks. That was bad enough. What I didn’t expect was the saggy stomach and other stuff which I won’t go into detail about. Let’s just say my body kind of resembles an OAP’s.

2. You will become a part time alcoholic

There are times when, after an hour of fighting my daughter down, I will indulge in a big glass of wine… Or two… Or three…

3. You won’t repel men, you’ll attract them

After I split with my daughters dad I was scared of finding love again but I’ve attracted more men then I used to in a weird way. But not all of them are great.. ‘Hey milf’ could you fucking not?

4. A baby is not a band aid

I dreamed of being a mum since I was young confident that a baby would make everything better in my life especially my depression and finally make me feel loved. Yes I feel loved but I also feel frustrated and exhausted and extremely depressed 50% of the time. Parenthood is not all giggling babies and butterflies especially doing it alone.

5. Pelvic floor excersizes are very important.

Unless you want to piss everywhere when you sneeze cough or laugh. Nuff said.

6. What is privacy?

For about five years you will not be able to pee in peace, eat in peace, get changed in peace etc etc. Infact you can say goodbye to having a meal to yourself without having little hands all over it!

7. No daytime TV

You can forget watching what you want on TV until your child is fast asleep. If I even think about turning off cbeebies I get screamed it. I know all the words to the theme tunes backwards. And yes, it will drive you insane.

8. No sleep for two years

The bad sleeping is only temporary? It will get better? HAHAHAHAHAHhhHQ

9. Housework? Forget it

Your house will no longer be sparkling clean and your living room will look like a toy shop. Yeah you think you can do it when the kids at nursery or asleep but in reality you will be napping or watching all the soap reruns and Jeremy Kyle you can tolerate. While eating all the snacks you can NEVER have to yourself. 

In conclusion parenting is bloody hard. I cry a lot, I look like a zombie and I snap at everybody. But in a weird way I have never been happier. I created this beautiful, intelligent and evil little human who loves me so much and depends on me. And I love her. Especially when she’s asleep.

If anyone told me how hard it is nothing would prepare me. The past two years have been a whirlwind of shitty nappies and sleepless nights… But those moments she smiles and giggles and learns a new word… And when somebody tells you how beautiful and well turned out your kid is make it all worth it.

Being a parent is the toughest thing that I’ve ever been through but she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She keeps me strong and makes me never want to give up and I am so thankful to her for that. 


MUA merged trio eyeshadow- Review

Hello my lovelies how are you? I’ve had an eventful week. Still no sign of my cat coming home heartbreakingly. On the plus side I had another Makeup lesson yesterday and this was the result!  Thanks nicky 😘

Anyway I thought I’d do my first review. So be nice! 

Last week on a budget I treated myself to some Makeup from super drug and these MUA trio eyeshadows caught my eye as they reminded me of MACs mineralised galaxy eye shows or whatever they’re called so I thought why not try?

Now the one I’m reviewing is called emotions. It has three colours. The first shade you use is the highlighting shade in the White and gold which you’d expect to put under the brow and on the inner corner of your eye, however it’s more of a light gold shade so I prefered to use one of my different shadows for this and instead dotted it over the other shadows for an extra shimmer. The White shade has a slight shimmer but is not very high in pigmentation.

The gold shade was very shimmery and a brassy colour so I used it for my base. I was dissapointed that this didn’t seem to have a high pigmentation either, but when I wet my brush slightly (wiping off the excess on the back of my hand) the pigmentation improved. Swatches on my hand are below; left is dry and right is damp. When i blended the bronze/gold colour into the crease though I was impressed at how easy the shadow was to blend- it only took around a minute where most shadows take a lot longer for me.

The third colour, the purple, is the definer which I applied In the corners of my eye and slightly into the crease. While the colour looked good (again only when wet) I’m afraid it didn’t blend as well as could be with another colour and went a bit merged instead of a contrast effect (I would like to point out this was no fault of mine haha!)

In conclusion you do get what you pay for. However with the right primer and undercoat (I have tried a Morphe eyeshadow) this MUA palette looks great as a topcoat ontop of any base for a cute shimmer.


  • Shimmery
  • Blendable
  • Glides on easily


  • Pigmentation not great until wet
  • Fades easily
  • Not great for long term use 
  • Fall out

Thoughts of the day

Depression is the worst.

You stir away from certain situations incase you get hurt

You isolate yourself and then complain you feel lonely

You have no motivation to do anything but want to do everything

Relationships suffer and you’re terrified to get into one and cling onto your other half for dear life

You get upset about any little thing or nothing

And things which would upset anybody can have a devastating effect on you

I have lost a pregnancy, am in a casual relationship with someone who I’m not sure loves me back, have a daughter who never sleeps and live in a house I hate

Things are really really shitty. And no matter how much I ask for help nobody will.

If anyone could recommend any self help books that would be really helpful.

Depression really is the worst.. You’re ill but nobody will help because they see it as just a feeling..

The Beginners guide to Contouring

Hi everyone how are you? I’m not too good myself. My gorgeous little cat has been missing for 3 days and with all the weather I am obviously worried. Also having man troubles but you don’t want to hear about that.

Anyways, I have a lot of friends who aren’t sure how to contour and what products to use so I thought I’d do a little tutorial. I will eventually do a video too 🙂 now some of the products I don’t have on me but I’m going to list everything you should use and what I use!

You will need-

  1. Primer- I use Rimmel Stay Matte
  2. Foundation- l’oreal Infallible Matte
  3. Concealer to highlight- Mac Studio Finish 
  4. Contour- to define. You can use anything from bronzer to a dark concealer. I use NYX powder Highlight and Contour Pro Palette
  5. Brushes- A large and small buffing brush. Concealer brush, and angled blusher brush. I use Real Techniques. 

Step One

Cleanse any Makeup already on your face and then prime your face. I prefer to put a small blob of the product on my palm, rub my hands together and just smother it all over. 

Step Two

Base. It is important to do your base before the contour unless you’re happy with your skin/colouring and prefer not to use any foundation. I push a big blob of my foundation onto the back of my hand and with a foundation brush, blob it all around my face. I then blend it all together with a big fluffy kabuki buffering brush. 


Step Three 

Now to highlight. If you have fair skin you will need a fair shade to contour. I am using a Mac studio fix concealer for my contouring but you can use a cream or powder shade from a contour kit too. Place it as shown below with a concealer brush. Apply concealer under your eyes as normal, dragging it down as triangles. Place some concealer on the bridge of your nose, bringing up onto your forehead, and drag a line under your chin and if you want to help the illusion of a thinner face, apply in triangles beside each mouth corner. Blend this into the skin with a small buffing brush in circular or fast motions depending on the area. On the forehead, buff the concealer in circular motions moving upwards.

Step Four

Defining. Now the way you do this all depends on your face shape and you can learn more about this on YouTube. Search contouring for [your] face shape. 

I have a round face and a slightly large (sigh) nose, so my aim is to make my face and my nose look thinner. I start this by getting a small shadow brush and on either side of my nose, brush a small line of powder up and down, blending with my finger. To do this I use a lot of pressure and a shade two shades darker than my colour.

Next, with a contouring brush, I gently outline my face with the same shade. So I literally go all around my face, under the chin blending into my neck and then blending the sides sideways, and my forehead upwards. 

Step Five

So the cheeks need a section of their own if you decide to do this. If you’re gifted with high and lovely cheekbones, a dust of bronzer and a highlighter will do the trick but if like me you have a chubby face you may want to create your own cheekbones. This may take a lot of practice and for this part you may like to watch a tutorial on youtube. Here is what I’m using- 

 Get an angled blush brush and place against your cheek like this just under where your cheek bone should be. If you can’t find them, suck in your cheeks. Hold the brush like this  


  Get a light bronzer and then move just under where your cheekbone starts in a fast up and down motion. Keep going until blended, and then with a slightly darker bronzer repeat the process just underneath the line you created. Optionally, dab a cream or powder highlighter right on your cheekbone.

Step 6

Make sure everything is blended and dust over your face with a translucent powder to set it. Use a setting spray if you want your ️Makeup to stay on for a while and voila! You have your contour. ❤️

Please let me know what you think 🙂 

10 Things Depression Sufferers Are Tired Of Hearing and How To Help

Depression is not an easy thing to understand. You can’t hear it or feel it or see it on another person, so when you tell somebody you suffer from it you shouldn’t expect too much. And to those who know somebody who suffers, it isn’t easy to watch somebody become a shadow of who they once were and it’s hard to find the right things to say. But here are the things you definitely should NOT say.

1. Someone has it worse than you

Would you tell somebody who has just had a heart attack and is intensive care to be grateful because somebody has it worse? Or somebody with a broken back who is in a wheelchair? So why is depression any different? Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there and it isn’t hurting and destroying lives. Depression ears you away from the inside, takes everything away from you and leaves you a shell of your former self that may never be filled again. Do you know how much that hurts? And to be told that somebody has it worse so you’re not allowed to be ill with depression is inexcusable and hurtful. 

2. Cheer up

Thanks mate why didn’t i think of that? Like seriously this is the most infuriating one, doesn’t even need an explanation.

3. Think positively

Positive thoughts work for some people. Even me, I have tried to change my thoughts into positive and it really does help (for anybody who wants to try and change their thought process, read the book The Secret. It’s incredible.) but for depression sufferers, we are naturally negative thinkers and sometimes it just isn’t possible. Think of it as being colourblind and seeing everything in black and white and being at the northern lights. Everybody around you is in awe at the beautiful colours but all you can see is grey. Can you imagine how awful that is?

4. Pull yourself together

Oh I get this all the time especially since I’ve become a mother. Sometimes it’s not just possible when you’re having a really bad day to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, as with any illness out there. If it was that easy, we would. Who wants to be depressed though really? 

5. There are people with real illnesses

Depression is a real illness. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Here is what a normal brain looks like as opposed to a depressives brain.

6. You need to do something

Motivation is one of the hardest things to conjure up if you’re suffering depression. Careers and friendships suffer because sometimes, let’s face it all you want to do is sit in your pants and you feel even more crap because you can’t get the energy to do anything. We know we need to do something, don’t remind us.

7. You’ll be okay

Shit thanks that makes it all better! 

8. You’re not depressed you just want attention 

Oh I get this a lot. And my reaction is always ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ Depression is an illness and as for attention? Of course we want attention, we want to feel loved and reassured.

9. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Of course I feel sorry for myself. I constantly have a dark cloud over my head and a weight over my chest. I feel sad about anything and I’m scared to get into certain situations because I’m scared of being hurt and even more depressed than I already am. People do not understand how it feels.

10. There’s always something wrong with you

As a depression sufferer I find myself feeling like shit a lot physically and mentally. If I try and speak up I usually get ‘You’re always sad’ or ‘You’re always ill.’ This prevents a depression sufferer from speaking up as they think nobody cares until you bottle things up and then ‘BAM’ one day you’re either screaming at your mother over a piece of toast… Or sobbing uncontrollably about a piece of toast..

So you have a loved one suffering from depression. What can you do, or say, to make it better?

Truth is that there might not be anything you can say. One day you might say something that works, and the other day you may be shouted and screamed at for saying the same thing. Depressives are unpredictable- we can be weepy, angry and sometimes you are best staying miles away! The best thing to do for somebody who suffers from depression is to learn what works for their angry mood, their horrible down days and if a bipolar, their high moods. Let them know that you are there when they want to talk, that you might not have the right words but you’ll listen. 

If they are sad, sit next to them and hold them. Supply them with junk food, run them a hot bath. Do not try and force them to go out somewhere. Ask, but not force. Instead, supply them with their favourite comforts. Reassure them, let them know you are there, tell them they are beautiful. For angry noods just do the same but with less talking.

Angry moods you may never be able to do anything right. But we love you and we don’t mean it. We want space but we will always come back with our tail between our legs. Leave us a cute note if we argue or don’t feel like talking or our favourite food on the counter. Tell us you are here when we are ready and we will repay you with so much love.

Depression is a complex thing to understand and it’s hard to watch someone you love fade away when you don’t really understand but it’s important to try. Empathy is key and do not use any of these phrases unless you’re a complete bellend.

Makeovers so far!

Good morning everybody,

I’m absolutely exhausted! Another bad night with my little monster and my ginger kitten wasn’t in the house this morning. Hopefully he turns up 😦

Anyways, I thought I’d show off some of the makeovers I’ve done so far. They’re in chronical order and you can really see the change I’ve had with more practice both on me and others. Let me know what you think- remember I’m only a beginner! X 

The first ever makeover I did on the lovely Beth- the right side is done by somebody else.

 ️contouring fun!

The second makeover I ever did, this one unattended. Not great but a fabulous start!

Eyes on my make up artist Nicky



Starters Guide to a Makeup Kit

So since I’ve started trying to be a make up artist I’ve had a lot of girls come to me who aren’t up to date with all the trends etc, asking me where to start or what they need and what is best. So I thought I’d do a post on all the basic products you need and my favourites! Here goes… 


There’s a lot of hype over expensive make up brushes and I say it’s all bull really. Although the branded ones are great for application, blending and an even coverage, it doesn’t mean the unbranded ones are bad either. A few brushes in my kit are unbranded and work fantastically. Go for what YOU feel is best and what you can afford (although obviously a set of brushes from the poundshop may not be great) and don’t focus too much on buying the most expensive brush kit. I use the real techniques brush set, made by youtube star PixiWoo. They are pricey in stores but I actually got the full set off ebay for very little! They work fantastically especially the face brushes and make for an easy and comfortable application. The eye brushes are fantastic for blending too although you might want to rethink buying the eye brushes if your eyebrows are quite close to your eyelids like mine, as the eye brushes are quite large. I’ll do another more detailed post on this in the future.  


Primer- now primer isn’t essential but I put this down as its a fantastic item in your kit to have and something I see as a must have. A primer prepares your skin for ️Makeup aiding a smoother application and helps it to stay on longer. There are different types of primers for different skin types and colours- for example somebody with skin with a red undertone (aka blotchiness)  would use a green primer. My skin is fine on the most part and a normal colour so I use a matte primer, in particularly Rimmel’s Matte Primer. I have yet to use another one but I haven’t got any complaints yet. It keeps my ️Makeup on and prepares it without an oily finish! 

Foundation- i only learnt this when I had my first lesson off Nicky, but foundation goes over the primer first not concealer (unless you have bad circles or any blemishes you want to cover up). When I started to wear make-up I thought I had to wear the most expensive foundation I could find to get a good coverage (MAC). However I have recently discovered L’oreal Infallible 24-hour foundation and I found the coverage so much better than MAC and for only £10 you can’t go wrong! It really is incredible and it does stay pretty close to 24 hours with a good primer. I would only use it though and skin that is not oily or dry- as I’ve said I will eventually do more posts including how to chose the right foundation for you but your best bet is to go into boots, selfridges etc and ask for advice if you aren’t sure! If your skin is fine though and you want a lovely smooth finish without shine, Infallible is the one for you. 

Concealer- my favourite concealer is Maybellines eraser eye! While it has fabulous coverage and is a godsend for hiding the bags under my eyes (parenthood…) it glides on easily with the easy application sponge (my daughter chewed the sponge off but it still works). I don’t know about the anti age bit since I’m only 21 but ey, I guess it’s good for wrinkles and stuff too. 


Oh the big one. With this one it’s really about trying different products and working out what’s best for you. Before I started training I went from different foundation shades (ugh!), to cream palettes off ebay, and then finally using concealer to highlight and the amazing NYX highlight and contour pro powder palette to brush over the concealer with and to contour! I have included a diagram so you can see where to highlight and contour and if you still don’t get it, YouTube videos are a godsend.

Anyway, I love this palette as it has loads of different colours to suit every skin tone (great if you’re a mua or fake worshipper), it doesn’t have too heavy a coverage (that’s bad- you don’t want your face to look all fuzzy with powder) and it also includes an amazing glittery white highlighter. You won’t need this though for basic beginners make up. This was £18 from boots and worth every penny. NYX also do a cream contour palette though if you prefer to just use cream alone and is preferable for different skin types (again ask if unsure).


Now there are all sorts of lipsticks  you can use and different types but as pretty and gorgeous smelling as they are, you do not have to spend £12 on each one at MAC. My favourite is the NYX butter gloss. It glides on easily, is highly pigmented, smells lovely and has a lovely matte finish. For just £5.50 you can’t go wrong! If you suffer from chapped or dry lips you may prefer to use a lipstick with a bit of gloss or a cream lipstick. NYX do these too 🙂 


Eyeshadow– As an aspiring MUA I love my palettes- I find it’s better to buy eyeshadow in palette form so you have a variety of choice and it is easier to put away rather than buying single eyeshadows. A lot of palettes also have similar colours, or different tones and varieties of one colour, which can be paired great together to blend and contrast. My eyeshadow must have is the Morphe Palette. These shades stay on fantastic with the right primer (for now you can just use a concealer or normal primer before putting on eyeshadow but as you become more advanced an eye primer is a good idea) and are highly pigmented and easily blended. These can be quite expensive, however they are really worth the cost and they are regularly sold on the website Beauty Bay for just £15 with free shipping. They often sell out though and restock different types so be sure to keep checking! For the record I use the 35w palette. This palette is fantastic because it has a great mixture of shimmers and mattes. But morphe sell a wide variety of palettes with different colours and types of eyeshadow.


Mascara– if like me you are absolutely terrible at putting on false lashes (and as a beginner you probably are too!) then a mascara is a great option for you. I use Bourjois 1 Seconde volume mascara, because it does what it says. Instantly volumises and lengthens my mascara. If you want to put on more than one coat though for extra length use a lash comb afterwards to get rid of any clumps. Unfortunately can’t remember the cost but it is worth it is worth it (remember if you end up sharing your mascara use disposable wands). 

The rest

Cleanser- it is important to wipe off ️Makeup after use and clean it before. I use Simple’s toning cleanser. This is a 2 in 1 product and the toner reduces oiliness and improves your skins general wellness while the cleanser, er cleanses. I bought this for around 6-7 pounds 

Moisturiser- moisturiser stops your skin from becoming dry and helps to keep it smooth and prepare for makeup. Simple, and even more effective after taking off makeup. I use the Simple moisturiser for a slightly cheaper price than the 2 in 1. 


Pencils- there’s not much to say here really. Here are the lipliner and eyeliners I use- just make sure they are well sharpened before use to avoid injury! It is also a good idea to use an eyeliner pencil rather than liquid eyeliner whilst you are learning on your top lid. It won’t wear well but is good for the practice. I will recommend a liquid eyeliner when I do a more advanced post! 

The Rimmel lipliner has a lovely pigmentation and is just £4 depending on where you buy, and comes in pencil or a twist up crayon type format. I like to use the crayon as it glides on easier. 

I use the Bourjois eyeliner as it stays on longer and even has a cute brush to smudge it if you decide to put some under the eye. £5.45.

I hope you enjoy my post and look forward to my further posts. Please let me know if you enjoyed this and it helps you. Good luck! X