For the past few weeks and months I have been feeling a lot of emotions. Negative emotions. Pain, anger, anxiety, fear. I’ve been an absolute mess it’s safe to say.
There are moments of clarity, where positive thoughts pop into my head. They’re rare but I hold onto them for as long as I possibly can, and they become more and more frequent. And after watching a Tony Robbins documentary I’m feeling clearer.
Why should I suffer? There’s a difference between pain an suffering. Pain is there all the time, but I could make the choice to use that pain and turn it into something good to move on. Suffering is wallowing, not wanting to get better, not being able to eat or sleep or do anything. That’s what I’ve been doing.
I’m going to do everything possible I can to get myself through this and do something good with this pain. I’ve been through a hell of a lot of trauma. I can really help people because I know what it feels like to feel the worst kind of pain. I just need to figure out how.